Looking after yourself
Finding medical and mental health care after abuse by a doctor
When the harm came from a doctor, going back to a doctor can feel impossible. Many people put off gynecological care for years. This page is about making care safer: what trauma-informed care is, what you can ask for, how to find it, and how to pay for therapy.
You are not being difficult
Avoiding appointments, feeling panic in a waiting room, or freezing on an exam table are common responses after medical abuse. They are not overreactions. None of what follows requires you to decide anything about a legal claim. This page is about your health, and it stands on its own.
What “trauma-informed” care means
In 2021 the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists — the professional body for OB-GYNs in the United States — recommended that its members adopt a trauma-informed model of care (Committee Opinion 825). The idea is simple: assume any patient may have experienced trauma, and run every appointment so it does not add to it.
ACOG notes that repeated interviews and examinations can re-traumatise patients, and it asks clinicians to prioritise physical and emotional safety, to ask only for the details they need, and to train their whole staff — not just the doctor.
What you can ask for
You are allowed to ask for any of these, at any practice. A clinician who reacts badly to a reasonable request has told you something useful.
- An explanation before each step, in plain language, and to be asked before you are touched.
- To stop at any time. Consent can be withdrawn mid-exam. It can help to agree a word or signal for “stop” before you start.
- A talk-only first visit, with no examination, to meet the clinician and decide whether to come back.
- A chaperone — or to have a support person of your choosing with you instead. Our page on medical chaperones explains what a chaperone is for.
- A clinician of a particular gender, where the practice can offer one.
- To stay covered for any part of your body not being examined.
- To see the instruments before they are used, or to position yourself in a way that feels less exposed.
- To ask whether an exam is necessary today — and what the alternatives are.
Screening without a speculum exam. For some people, cervical screening can now be done with a sample you collect yourself. In May 2025 the FDA approved the first device for collecting a cervical screening sample at home. It is not right for everyone — it depends on your age and history — but it is worth asking about if a speculum exam is the reason you have been putting off screening.
How to find a trauma-informed clinician
There is no official register, so the most reliable method is to ask. When you call to book, you can say something like:
A script you can use
“I’ve had a difficult experience with a previous doctor and I get anxious at exams. Do you have a clinician who has experience with patients who have been through trauma? Could my first appointment be just a conversation?”
You do not have to say more than that. How the person on the phone responds is itself a good test. Other places to start:
- Rape crisis centers often know which local clinicians are good with survivors. In Los Angeles, the LA Rape & Battering Hotline (213-626-3393) is a place to ask.
- Your insurer’s member services can search for female clinicians, or those with particular training, in your network.
- A therapist, if you have one, may know clinicians other clients have trusted.
Mental health care
People respond to abuse in very different ways. Some find it resurfaces years later — sometimes triggered by news coverage of a case like this one. Common experiences include intrusive memories, avoidance, feeling on edge, trouble sleeping, and shame or self-blame. None of these mean something is wrong with you.
Therapies with the strongest evidence
The U.S. National Center for PTSD identifies three trauma-focused talk therapies as working best:
| Therapy | What it involves, briefly |
|---|---|
| Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) | Examining and changing the beliefs the trauma left behind — for example, self-blame |
| Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) | Processing the memory while following guided side-to-side movements or sounds |
| Prolonged Exposure (PE) | Gradually approaching memories and situations you have been avoiding, in a controlled way |
These typically run for 8 to 16 sessions. Not everyone who has experienced abuse has PTSD, and a good therapist will start from what you actually need. When choosing one, ask directly: “Have you worked with survivors of sexual abuse? Are you trained in any of these approaches?” The first therapist is not always the right fit, and changing is normal.
Paying for it
Free counseling
Rape crisis centers offer free, confidential counseling and advocacy, regardless of whether you have reported anything or intend to. RAINN (800-656-4673) can connect you to your nearest center.
The California Victim Compensation Board
CalVCB can pay for mental health treatment and medical care for victims of crime in California. Key points from CalVCB’s own guidance:
- It is a payer of last resort — it covers costs that insurance and other sources do not. If you later receive money from a civil case for the same costs, you may have to repay it.
- It normally requires cooperation with law enforcement, but says exceptions may apply for sexual assault. Supporting documentation such as mental health or medical records may be considered.
- Applications are generally due within seven years of the crime, with later applications considered where there is good cause, including where late reporting is reasonable.
Details and applications are at victims.ca.gov. A rape crisis advocate can help you apply.
If you are also considering a legal claim: therapy records can become relevant in litigation, and it is sensible to mention that you are in therapy when you first speak to a lawyer. But please do not delay care because of a possible case. Your health comes first, and there are protections — see what happens in a deposition and privacy and anonymity.
Common questions
What is a trauma-informed gynecologist?
A clinician who assumes any patient may have experienced trauma and runs appointments to avoid re-traumatising them: explaining each step first, asking permission before touching, letting you stop at any time, and minimising repeated examinations. ACOG recommended this model in 2021.
Can I stop a pelvic exam once it has started?
Yes. You can withdraw consent at any point and a good clinician will stop immediately. Agreeing a stop word or signal beforehand can make it easier to use.
I haven’t had a check-up in years. Is it too late?
No. Clinicians see patients returning after long gaps all the time. You can tell them as much or as little about why as you like — “I’ve had a bad experience before” is enough.
Can California pay for therapy?
CalVCB can cover mental health treatment for crime victims as a payer of last resort, with exceptions to the usual law-enforcement requirement that may apply for sexual assault. Rape crisis centers also offer free counseling.
What if talking about this makes things worse at first?
That is common in the early stage of trauma-focused therapy, and a good therapist will pace things with you. If you are ever in crisis, call or text 988 at any time.
Support, whenever you need it
- RAINN — 800-656-4673, free and confidential, 24/7, and can connect you to a local rape crisis center
- 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text, 24/7
- LA Rape & Battering Hotline — 213-626-3393
- More support resources
- “I don’t know if what happened to me counts”
Sources
- ACOG, “Important for Obstetrician-Gynecologists to Adopt Trauma-Informed Model of Care”, and Committee Opinion 825, Caring for Patients Who Have Experienced Trauma (April 2021).
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD, PTSD Treatment Basics.
- California Victim Compensation Board, Frequently Asked Questions.
- End Violence Against Women International, Alternative reporting options — victim compensation.
- The ASCO Post, “FDA Approves At-Home Self-Collection Device for Cervical Cancer Screening” (May 2025).
Last reviewed and updated: September 21, 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. Talk to a clinician about your own care.